The incessant ramblings of a twenty something year old

Month: September 2014

I’m finally 22!!

I’m finally 22!!

Well hello there. I hope you all had a nice weekend? I spent the last weekend of my holidays absolutely dying and am now back in work for my sins. Thank God I love my job. It wouldn’t be the same if I was returning […]

Things I can’t find the words to say…

Things I can’t find the words to say…

**I realise that this is an ‘unscheduled’ blog post but when I set up this blog it was so that I could have a place to vent and that is what I need to do now. So you can feel free to skip this post […]

Now you know I get anxious…

Now you know I get anxious…

Hey guys!
I had hoped to write this post before the weekend but I got sucked into mine and Danny’s birthday preparations a little earlier than planned. So I am now writing it from my sickbed. I have had a touch of Cystitis since Saturday and it still hasn’t budged. I finally gave in today and got some treatment for it from the chemist so hopefully it budges. I can’t let it ruin a second weekend in a row.

In my post on The Blog Awards Ireland launch party I mentioned my social anxiety. This is something I never spoke about before and didn’t even realise existed until very recently. It isn’t something you would think I suffer from as I can be very confident, however I would say it is something I have developed as I have gotten older.

I did ballet from a very young age which led to me performing in sold out shows in a number of theaters. This tied with school experience meant I had no problem getting up in front of people to talk. This is something which continued through university, I would never hesitate to be the designated speaker on projects, although I did find myself getting more and more nervous. 

Now though I find I get very anxious when I know I am going to be in a situation where I won’t know anyone. I get so nervous and sweaty and to be honest I feel physically ill. 

My boyfriend has a new job and there is an event on Saturday which I was invited to. I have an exam that morning so if I was to go to the event I would be a little bit late and that makes me feel so ill. Walking into a place where I know no one late and having them all watch me. To be honest in circumstances like this I feel I should start looking for excuses not to go. I have a work event at the same time after the exam which has a few thousand guests registered to attend yet this doesn’t even phase me. Amazing how these things affect us.

I realise this hasn’t really tackled my anxiety, more just reflected on it as this is a new concept to me and something I am still attempting to understand so I will probably come back to the topic again.

I’m not sure if I will get another post up before the weekend as I am studying hard for the QFA so if I don’t get a moment I will have a post on my birthday up early next week.

I hope you are all loving being back in school or else excitedly looking forward to starting university. It is a great experience so make the most of it. 


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