You know what. I love writing posts like this. The gossipy ones, where there might be a funny story or two to go with it. But this time around I just… I didn’t want to… because I have nothing to say. I should have written about my learning to drive or something but I didn’t. I do have things to say about online dating… but nothing that is of a gossipy nature.
Online dating has been very disappointing this time around. I won’t say it’s not entirely my fault, I am very awkward and bad at talking to men. That, paired with my lack of knowing what I want, means that I freak out or just ghost myself away. This is when I find someone I might potentially have an interest in. It’s rare that happens lately. I struggle to even find anyone I might have a potential interest in. Yes, I am being extremely picky, but don’t I deserve to be? I am not even sure if I want to be involved with someone, so why would I waste that on someone I am only half into?
The calibre of men is just so depressing though. The ones who attempt to have actual conversations are just not people I find myself attracted to. Then anyone I do find cute or handsome is just so droll and boring. Or of course not interested. I need to find that magic trick where I am really fun and charming and people want me. Maybe my online persona is not as charming as in reality. I do know for a fact though that real life Lynn Jo is so awkward it just won’t work that way either.
What has amazed me is how men feel it is okay to speak to women, as I have highlighted in screen grabs on my instagram. Way too often I find myself sitting there wondering how someone thinks that this is okay to say to a woman. And this is never comments made mid conversation. It is the opening message. Recently someone opened up with a comment that I didn’t look like I was very submissive. I actually turned around to that person to point out I had never mentioned being submissive anywhere on my profile so I wasn’t sure why he was even bringing it up.
Long story short. No dates as yet. Not even a hint of butterflies. Maybe I will fight it out a while longer.