Done With Online Dating?

You read it here first. I really think I am over the whole thing of online dating.
The more time I spend on this sites and thinking about the whole thing, the less I want to do it. Yet I can’t tear myself away for fear I miss out. I am just so over forcing conversations and engaging with people who you are dragging a conversation from and let’s be fair, wouldn’t even talk to on a normal day. I don’t know what it is that pushes me so hard to try find someone. There are moments when I am perfectly happy by myself, enjoying my own company. And then come the times when it hits me that I am a very much alone and would like someone. But what is it that brings on these moments which make me want for more and desperate to find it. Because I am pretty happy to like people organically. To meet someone and get to know them and then suddenly, one day, realising you have a massive crush on them. I am okay with this. And it has happened to me very recently. I think this was what inspired my most recent bout of feeling alone. Knowing that something won’t happen there. But this time I still couldn’t bear to be on Tinder or POF. Because the conversation just doesn’t do it. The dimness and lack of intellect (or basic grammar) just don’t get me going. I am not excited to get to know any of these people and I would much rather be playing games on my phone that interact with them.

I am not saying I will delete this apps. You can be sure I will definitely be still using them. But almost half heartedly now. Just in case.
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Will I meet my soul mate online?

You know what. I love writing posts like this. The gossipy ones, where there might be a funny story or two to go with it. But this time around I just… I didn’t want to… because I have nothing to say. I should have written about my learning to drive or something but I didn’t. I do have things to say about online dating… but nothing that is of a gossipy nature.

Source

Online dating has been very disappointing this time around. I won’t say it’s not entirely my fault, I am very awkward and bad at talking to men. That, paired with my lack of knowing what I want, means that I freak out or just ghost myself away. This is when I find someone I might potentially have an interest in. It’s rare that happens lately. I struggle to even find anyone I might have a potential interest in. Yes, I am being extremely picky, but don’t I deserve to be? I am not even sure if I want to be involved with someone, so why would I waste that on someone I am only half into?
The calibre of men is just so depressing though. The ones who attempt to have actual conversations are just not people I find myself attracted to. Then anyone I do find cute or handsome is just so droll and boring. Or of course not interested. I need to find that magic trick where I am really fun and charming and people want me. Maybe my online persona is not as charming as in reality. I do know for a fact though that real life Lynn Jo is so awkward it just won’t work that way either.
What has amazed me is how men feel it is okay to speak to women, as I have highlighted in screen grabs on my instagram. Way too often I find myself sitting there wondering how someone thinks that this is okay to say to a woman. And this is never comments made mid conversation. It is the opening message. Recently someone opened up with a comment that I didn’t look like I was very submissive. I actually turned around to that person to point out I had never mentioned being submissive anywhere on my profile so I wasn’t sure why he was even bringing it up.
Long story short. No dates as yet. Not even a hint of butterflies. Maybe I will fight it out a while longer.
Enjoy what’s left of your weekend!
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December in Berlin

Finally, after months of feeling like I didn’t have a second, I have some time to sit down and tell you some of my favourite things about my trip to Berlin in early December.



Berlin was a trip my lovely friend was planning on going on herself and the minute I broke up with my ex bf I decided I was going to be joining her. I am so happy I did.

One of my favourite parts of the trip was of course my hotel. Oh my GOD. I am still so in love with it. I genuinely wish my bedroom looked like that… a girl can dream. We stayed in the nHow which is a ‘Music and Lifestyle hotel’ on the banks of the River Spree in Stralauer Allee. Ugh my God I loved everything about it. The room as pink first of all! But also so bright and airy. It was really modern too. Nothing was too big or too small for them to help us with. Also a special mention on the lifts. Each one played a different genre of music. Very fun. Oh and did I mention the Spa? Yeah that happened.

We went to Fairytale Bar when we were there also. There is so much I want to say about this bar but I can’t say a lot without ruining the experience. Whilst slightly more expensive than most places these were definitely the best cocktails I have had in a long time. Sure the bar was not even open a year and they had won a mixology award. If you want a bit of magic and enjoy a good drink then this is the place for you. Be warned though, unless you know what you are looking for, you may not find it.

Finally I ADORED the winter markets. While a lot of them were the same, selling similar things, the atmosphere was just so infectious and really got you in the mood for the Christmas spirit. My favourite was the market in Charlottenburg Castle however. We went for a stroll around the castle grounds and in some antique stores in the area before returning to the market for some Bailey’s Hot Chocolate. 

I have included a little slideshow of photos for anyone who wants to have a nose. There are some more on instagram, @lynnjochaney. I will say though, if you plan on visiting Berlin, bring some good walking shoes.



Next time on this here blog I will be spilling all about my online dating experience thus far. See you then. Have a great weekend!
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The Importance of Date Nights

This is something  I genuinely wonder about on a day to day basis… How do relationships survive without date nights? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying my relationship would fall apart if Danny and I stopped going out and having days where we get out and do things. But I really could see our relationship being a lot less enjoyable if that were to happen. I’m not saying we go on mad, over the top, extravagant day trips or activity days. But we do try to get out of the house and on the weekends we are rarely in the house. We might just do something simple like go for a walk or on a trip to browse a market, nothing very expensive.

Whilst I work a good job and Danny earns enough to survive renting a place to live, we aren’t exactly extremely well off. We manage though, without depriving ourselves of the things we like and at the weekend we allow ourselves our little luxuries. One of the tricks that allow us to afford this is being clever with money during the week.

Every Monday is Game of Thrones and Super Mario night. Danny will come over to mine to watch the newest Game of Thrones episode and play the Wii. On these days I would normally make dinner and we would get some junk food in. Either that or we would order in Dominos Pizza. The Dominos near my house is brilliant. The staff are friendly and helpful and always willing to honour the 50% off online offers. Unfortunately this was not the case with Danny’s local Dominos so we had to stop ordering from there.

We would normally see each other again later in the week, you can’t keep us apart, and again one of us would buy and make dinner as part of our weekly shop.

Then our weekend is all our own with minimal watching of the pennies.

Another great thing is that my local cinema only charges €6 to see any movie on a Wednesday, whilst we haven’t availed of this offer yet, it makes for a much cheaper cinema date, especially with so many good movies hitting the big screen over summer.

I think the thing that means Danny and I work is having our Game of Thrones night, which is something to look forward to every week, as well as making sure to get out of the house at the weekend. These are the things that stop relationships getting stale and monotonous. It’s when relationships get stale and monotonous that fights happen. Being able to talk to each other about anything helps too of course.

So this weekend, whether your relationship is exciting as anything or running a bit stale, get dolled up and go for dinner, or pack a picnic and go to the park. Do something that is not mundane and is not part of your normal routine. If you do, let me know how you get on in the comments. Also what do you do with your better half for date night? Comment below! 
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A Change of Pace

A lot has been happening in my life lately and I thought it was time to update you all. 
First let me say that a lot of what I say in this post will be very vague, not because I intend to keep my life shrouded in secrecy, but because some of it is a sensitive nature and to be honest it’s not really anyone’s business and knowing (or not knowing) specific details will have no impact on anyone’s life. 
Second. A lot of what is going on is quite big to me. Whilst it may seem small and unimportant in the grand scheme of things or in comparison to your life, it is huge to me and is going to have a huge impact on my life, so I would regard it as important.
I have taken a new career path in life. It is an adult job with a career path which means I can progress within the company. While I will not be working in retail anymore my work will still be customer based but working in a customer service environment. Without saying too much the company has recently been acquired by another, making it a huge multinational company. While the company is still attempting to carry out it’s normal day to day functions, a lot of what they are doing is based around the migrations of various different arms of companies together under this larger companies name. That is where I come in. For the time being I am based in a separate office to the main office and am working on a project involving, what the company has called, Data Migration Cleansing. This basically just means moving data from one system to another and making sure it is correct in order to make the transition as smooth as possible. 
This job presents HUGE opportunities for me. It is a job with regular hours and a salary. Gone are the variable hours that retail often gave to me. I now know where I stand and can budget and plan accordingly. I also know how long my contract lasts for. This means that I can budget and allow for holidays and trips away and either learning to drive or moving out. Unfortunately I cannot do both but by the looks of things I will be looking into moving into a place in the city centre as that is where I will be based in a few months. I lived away from home about two years ago and moving home killed me. Nothing compares to having your own place and independence and I can’t wait to have that again.
I guess that is the message I would like you all to take from today’s blog post. Embrace new experiences and embrace change. Too long did I shy away and let experiences pass me by. I don’t regret it now but I do sometimes wonder if I would have been happier had I done things differently. I have decided to stop wondering and start doing and a lot of that involves embracing new things and putting myself out of my comfort zone.
I’d love to know any changes you guys have made and any times you have stepped outside of your comfort zone. How did stepping outside your comfort zone make you feel? Was it a positive or negative experience.
I also want to let you in on a little snack I just had and LOVED.
These bad boys.
I was just picking at a pack as I wrote my post and they are so tasty and filling. Handy to have as a little snack and as they are Tesco own brand stock they are super affordable. I need to find more snacks like this to have at my desk.
Have a good week.
Lynn Jo xox

PS. If you haven’t had a chance to look at my latest YouTube video please check it out here.

Dating Site Do’s & Don’ts

Hey guys!
I actually had this post planned for ages but rather than typing a big long ranty post about it I decided to record a big long ranty video instead so check it out.
I promise I will provide more insight into how I am getting on in the world of online dating over the next few weeks.
Are there any other videos you’d like to see me make specifically?
What are your do’s and don’ts for chatting to people online?
Let me know in the comments below.
I’d also love if you would give the video a like and subscribe to my channel.
Chat to you all soon.
Lynn Jo xox

A Dodgy Dating Story

Those of you who know me a while, or have followed my tumblr or blog for a spell, will know that I have had terrible, TERRIBLE, luck when it comes to matters of the heart.
It’s not just when I get a man that I have bad luck. I seem to always get into horrible and embarrassing spots of bother whenever I am around any male person. I am just cursed to be awkward and alone. I mean it.
Like this one time I was on a date in a quiet pub and we were having a nice time and were sitting down chatting when these drunk Dublin oul lads sat beside us. Now I chose this bar because it was always quiet and empty and chilled and full of hip young thangs and spanish tourists. Anyway these lads sat down and then asked us how long we had been dating. I chose to just look at them whereas The Boy said it was our first date… This led to a lot of me being told The Boy was a gent and that I was a beautiful girl, the oul lad said fella the first time but sure, and that we would have beautiful babies.
Beautiful fucking babies? We haven’t even had our first kiss man. 
I get so awkward in these situations that I just sat there awkwardly grimacing. That’s not so bad one might say…
But that was the night water dropped in my eye and it got infected. I had a red eye for days after. When it dropped in my eye one eye closed and the other started watering. That was the most awkward goodbye of my life. Especially as I fell getting on the bus.
Any embarrassing date stories from you guys? Email me them (chaneylynnjo@gmail.com) with the subject line “Dodgy Dating Story” and I will post my favourite ones. If I feel your story is especially pathetic I might send you a pity prize to help you on your next date.
Do you guys prefer these kind of posts or would you like me to stick to hair and make up?
Let me know in the comments or by email.
Happy 2014.
Lynn Jo xox 

I Don’t Understand Boys!

I said I wouldn’t talk about my relationships on here anymore, and I’m not, so if you were expecting some juicy gossip from my love life you can just leave now. 
I spend a lot of time alone and in that time I think and contemplate and as a result get myself upset and angry over the stupidest little things. Lately I have noticed that the focus of these thoughts were boys and my future, however I have figured out my future for the most part so the boys are just kind of preoccupying my mind at the moment. 
I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THEM.

There is just so much I don’t get. This is where the rant is going to go off on a tangent so bear with me. I am trying really hard to keep this structured. Actually I am going to write down all the points I am going to discuss.
Right I’ve done that so maybe I might make some sense.
The first thing is boys are ALWAYS TAKEN. Now can I just state that In at least 50% of cases I will talk to a boy first, and that 80% of the time I suggest meeting up. So I’d be chatting away to someone for ages and they would be quite flirty and that… or I’d think they were… or things would just be going well and I would get the impression that they were single and maybe suggest hanging out or swapping numbers or something and they always end up being taken. Not even TAKEN taken though. But seeing someone and they always seem pretty committed. I never seem to get that much attention when I’m doing someone. But it genuinely seems that everyone is shacking up these days. Soon there won’t be anyone left for little old me.
Compare this to the fact that NOT very many boys these days seem to be LOOKING for anything. Everyone who isn’t shacking up is going through some ‘me’ time. Now I can’t talk, I’ve vowed to stay single until 2014 at the earliest in order to have some Lynn time. But all the same I am still keeping the door slightly ajar, after all who doesn’t have the odd day where they just want a cuddle or to lay around and watch movies or just have a chat and a flirt. I thought it was basic human nature to want that from time to time. Guess you’re all happy either being completely off limits or completely alone… from what I can see, anyway, there doesn’t seem to be very much middle ground.
Okay just very quickly to fill you in. I was chatting to my friend the other day about being the whole being single, having ‘me’ time but still wanting some company scenario the other day and we decided to join dating sites in order to liven our lives up a bit and see what happens. It is kind of a bit of fun while we are taking a break from it all. We joined two, Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish and it is on these sites that I have noticed the following few things. I’ll look at those specific to dating sites first and then I’ll discuss the other point which is just something I observed more from being on the sites, which I am sure applies in person too but I don’t really experience it all that much due to not really being out all that much. 
Okay. One thing I do value on the two sites are ORIGINAL OPENING MESSAGES which there are a SEVERE LACK OF.  The one everyone seems to go for is “What’s up?” and I’d be lucky if it was even spelt that well. Like I literally was replying to someone who had been asking how I was getting on on the site and I messaged them and complained about the whole “What’s up?” scenario. By the time I did that and got back to the inbox, a process which can’t have taken more than 30 seconds max, I had a message saying “wts up”. No capitals, no punctuation, basically no vowels for christ sake. Like seriously. These are dating sites. It’s not picking someone up on Bebo. A “wts up” will get you nowhere, especially not with me. I have a degree for christ sake. What concerns me more is both sites operate, mainly, through their respective smartphone apps. Most smartphones have dictionaries and spell the words out for you. The fact someone out there is still writing as if it is 2004 and we are trying to make messages as small as possible, whilst on a dating site and, I’d imagine, trying to impress someone is COMPLETELY beyond me. Like I can’t even START to comprehend that.
The other thing is the ABUSE I got on that site. I had joined Ok Cupid before after my break up with my ex but I got a lot of abuse from one user when I refused to reply to him. This is someone who had no photograph and nothing written on his profile. Like I will give people a chance but that’s a bit extreme, you joined a dating site and wrote not one single thing on your profile. I don’t even know why these people are allowed on the sites. Anyway this person sent me some nasty mail because I wouldn’t reply, it was exam season too, so I blocked and reported him. For him to make multiple accounts, a new one every time I blocked and reported him, if it was a him. At one point I had two or three accounts emailing me almost identical messages. Anyway, five minutes after re joining the site I had a message from him again. Same username and everything basically saying I seemed nice but if I didn’t reply it would say a lot about the kind of person I am. I replied saying something to the effect of “you sent me abuse on here before I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone”. To which he blew up, calling me fake, that I wasn’t real, that I was on the site to troll guys and so on and no wonder I was single and stuck on the site. This is the person who is still on there abusing girls for not replying 6 months after I joined in the first place. God knows how long he had been on there beforehand. It is my choice to be single. I am not on there to meet a man, if one came along I’d chance it, but that is not my goal. I have chosen to stay single. However it is no wonder someone like that is on there leading such a pathetic life if that is how they go on.
The other thing I am not getting, this is the thing I said I noticed mainly on the sites, is the fact that THE PEOPLE I HAVE NO INTEREST IN ARE THE ONES WHO MAKE AN EFFORT WHEREAS THE GOOD LOOKING ONES ARE LITERALLY THE MOST BORING.
Like seriously, there are guys on there who send me some nice messages, that put a lot of effort into them but it is just never going to happen because I just am not into them, or don’t fancy them or something. Like if I don’t feel a physical attraction to you it just won’t happen. I am kinda shallow like that but I believe attraction has to be there. But then the ones I do fancy, and who I message because their profiles seem decent and they seem like someone I can get on with… they just don’t bother. Like it is literally like taking blood from  a stone. It is just not there. Like what am I meant to do because I am not one to settle, no way no how. Like one guy, I really did not fancy him, but his message started off so well. Then he asked what Game of Thrones house I belonged to… I love Game of Thrones, but that’s a bit much for a first message. I don’t want to be part of that intensity of a fandom just yet, and if I did I would have joined it on Tumblr a long time ago. 
That’s the brunt of my rant to be honest. I want to finish by just kinda having a little moan about BOYS IN GENERAL. I really think they lack social skills in the way they go on and behave and stuff. Like boys would never think to say “I’ll be busy today so I will talk to you later” or to tell you something straight out instead of ignoring you for a week because they think it’s better, or they take stuff at face value when really it’s just a joke or think you will come out to them at 2am because they happen to be walking by your house.
A few guys have done idiotic things in my world lately and I just wanted to rant about it all. They’re just so stupid, even the really intelligent ones.
I would definitely expect another post about this in the next week. I don’t think I have let it all out yet. I need to start writing things down as they come to me.

Also, I know I have gotten better at posting lately but WORD OF WARNING it is my birthday this weekend and my graduation next week so posts will be thin on the ground. I will do a big post on each even soon after though to fill you all in.
Also I passed 1,000 VIEWS this week and I want to thank you all so much for reading and visiting the blog and supporting me. It’s great to have an outlet but also SO amazing to have people read what I have to say. I hope I can keep posting things you all like, if I am not, feel free to suggest things. 😀

I love you all SO SO MUCH!
x