Done With Online Dating?

You read it here first. I really think I am over the whole thing of online dating.
The more time I spend on this sites and thinking about the whole thing, the less I want to do it. Yet I can’t tear myself away for fear I miss out. I am just so over forcing conversations and engaging with people who you are dragging a conversation from and let’s be fair, wouldn’t even talk to on a normal day. I don’t know what it is that pushes me so hard to try find someone. There are moments when I am perfectly happy by myself, enjoying my own company. And then come the times when it hits me that I am a very much alone and would like someone. But what is it that brings on these moments which make me want for more and desperate to find it. Because I am pretty happy to like people organically. To meet someone and get to know them and then suddenly, one day, realising you have a massive crush on them. I am okay with this. And it has happened to me very recently. I think this was what inspired my most recent bout of feeling alone. Knowing that something won’t happen there. But this time I still couldn’t bear to be on Tinder or POF. Because the conversation just doesn’t do it. The dimness and lack of intellect (or basic grammar) just don’t get me going. I am not excited to get to know any of these people and I would much rather be playing games on my phone that interact with them.

I am not saying I will delete this apps. You can be sure I will definitely be still using them. But almost half heartedly now. Just in case.
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The Importance of Date Nights

This is something  I genuinely wonder about on a day to day basis… How do relationships survive without date nights? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying my relationship would fall apart if Danny and I stopped going out and having days where we get out and do things. But I really could see our relationship being a lot less enjoyable if that were to happen. I’m not saying we go on mad, over the top, extravagant day trips or activity days. But we do try to get out of the house and on the weekends we are rarely in the house. We might just do something simple like go for a walk or on a trip to browse a market, nothing very expensive.

Whilst I work a good job and Danny earns enough to survive renting a place to live, we aren’t exactly extremely well off. We manage though, without depriving ourselves of the things we like and at the weekend we allow ourselves our little luxuries. One of the tricks that allow us to afford this is being clever with money during the week.

Every Monday is Game of Thrones and Super Mario night. Danny will come over to mine to watch the newest Game of Thrones episode and play the Wii. On these days I would normally make dinner and we would get some junk food in. Either that or we would order in Dominos Pizza. The Dominos near my house is brilliant. The staff are friendly and helpful and always willing to honour the 50% off online offers. Unfortunately this was not the case with Danny’s local Dominos so we had to stop ordering from there.

We would normally see each other again later in the week, you can’t keep us apart, and again one of us would buy and make dinner as part of our weekly shop.

Then our weekend is all our own with minimal watching of the pennies.

Another great thing is that my local cinema only charges €6 to see any movie on a Wednesday, whilst we haven’t availed of this offer yet, it makes for a much cheaper cinema date, especially with so many good movies hitting the big screen over summer.

I think the thing that means Danny and I work is having our Game of Thrones night, which is something to look forward to every week, as well as making sure to get out of the house at the weekend. These are the things that stop relationships getting stale and monotonous. It’s when relationships get stale and monotonous that fights happen. Being able to talk to each other about anything helps too of course.

So this weekend, whether your relationship is exciting as anything or running a bit stale, get dolled up and go for dinner, or pack a picnic and go to the park. Do something that is not mundane and is not part of your normal routine. If you do, let me know how you get on in the comments. Also what do you do with your better half for date night? Comment below! 
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Dating Site Do’s & Don’ts

Hey guys!
I actually had this post planned for ages but rather than typing a big long ranty post about it I decided to record a big long ranty video instead so check it out.
I promise I will provide more insight into how I am getting on in the world of online dating over the next few weeks.
Are there any other videos you’d like to see me make specifically?
What are your do’s and don’ts for chatting to people online?
Let me know in the comments below.
I’d also love if you would give the video a like and subscribe to my channel.
Chat to you all soon.
Lynn Jo xox

I Don’t Understand Boys!

I said I wouldn’t talk about my relationships on here anymore, and I’m not, so if you were expecting some juicy gossip from my love life you can just leave now. 
I spend a lot of time alone and in that time I think and contemplate and as a result get myself upset and angry over the stupidest little things. Lately I have noticed that the focus of these thoughts were boys and my future, however I have figured out my future for the most part so the boys are just kind of preoccupying my mind at the moment. 
I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THEM.

There is just so much I don’t get. This is where the rant is going to go off on a tangent so bear with me. I am trying really hard to keep this structured. Actually I am going to write down all the points I am going to discuss.
Right I’ve done that so maybe I might make some sense.
The first thing is boys are ALWAYS TAKEN. Now can I just state that In at least 50% of cases I will talk to a boy first, and that 80% of the time I suggest meeting up. So I’d be chatting away to someone for ages and they would be quite flirty and that… or I’d think they were… or things would just be going well and I would get the impression that they were single and maybe suggest hanging out or swapping numbers or something and they always end up being taken. Not even TAKEN taken though. But seeing someone and they always seem pretty committed. I never seem to get that much attention when I’m doing someone. But it genuinely seems that everyone is shacking up these days. Soon there won’t be anyone left for little old me.
Compare this to the fact that NOT very many boys these days seem to be LOOKING for anything. Everyone who isn’t shacking up is going through some ‘me’ time. Now I can’t talk, I’ve vowed to stay single until 2014 at the earliest in order to have some Lynn time. But all the same I am still keeping the door slightly ajar, after all who doesn’t have the odd day where they just want a cuddle or to lay around and watch movies or just have a chat and a flirt. I thought it was basic human nature to want that from time to time. Guess you’re all happy either being completely off limits or completely alone… from what I can see, anyway, there doesn’t seem to be very much middle ground.
Okay just very quickly to fill you in. I was chatting to my friend the other day about being the whole being single, having ‘me’ time but still wanting some company scenario the other day and we decided to join dating sites in order to liven our lives up a bit and see what happens. It is kind of a bit of fun while we are taking a break from it all. We joined two, Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish and it is on these sites that I have noticed the following few things. I’ll look at those specific to dating sites first and then I’ll discuss the other point which is just something I observed more from being on the sites, which I am sure applies in person too but I don’t really experience it all that much due to not really being out all that much. 
Okay. One thing I do value on the two sites are ORIGINAL OPENING MESSAGES which there are a SEVERE LACK OF.  The one everyone seems to go for is “What’s up?” and I’d be lucky if it was even spelt that well. Like I literally was replying to someone who had been asking how I was getting on on the site and I messaged them and complained about the whole “What’s up?” scenario. By the time I did that and got back to the inbox, a process which can’t have taken more than 30 seconds max, I had a message saying “wts up”. No capitals, no punctuation, basically no vowels for christ sake. Like seriously. These are dating sites. It’s not picking someone up on Bebo. A “wts up” will get you nowhere, especially not with me. I have a degree for christ sake. What concerns me more is both sites operate, mainly, through their respective smartphone apps. Most smartphones have dictionaries and spell the words out for you. The fact someone out there is still writing as if it is 2004 and we are trying to make messages as small as possible, whilst on a dating site and, I’d imagine, trying to impress someone is COMPLETELY beyond me. Like I can’t even START to comprehend that.
The other thing is the ABUSE I got on that site. I had joined Ok Cupid before after my break up with my ex but I got a lot of abuse from one user when I refused to reply to him. This is someone who had no photograph and nothing written on his profile. Like I will give people a chance but that’s a bit extreme, you joined a dating site and wrote not one single thing on your profile. I don’t even know why these people are allowed on the sites. Anyway this person sent me some nasty mail because I wouldn’t reply, it was exam season too, so I blocked and reported him. For him to make multiple accounts, a new one every time I blocked and reported him, if it was a him. At one point I had two or three accounts emailing me almost identical messages. Anyway, five minutes after re joining the site I had a message from him again. Same username and everything basically saying I seemed nice but if I didn’t reply it would say a lot about the kind of person I am. I replied saying something to the effect of “you sent me abuse on here before I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone”. To which he blew up, calling me fake, that I wasn’t real, that I was on the site to troll guys and so on and no wonder I was single and stuck on the site. This is the person who is still on there abusing girls for not replying 6 months after I joined in the first place. God knows how long he had been on there beforehand. It is my choice to be single. I am not on there to meet a man, if one came along I’d chance it, but that is not my goal. I have chosen to stay single. However it is no wonder someone like that is on there leading such a pathetic life if that is how they go on.
The other thing I am not getting, this is the thing I said I noticed mainly on the sites, is the fact that THE PEOPLE I HAVE NO INTEREST IN ARE THE ONES WHO MAKE AN EFFORT WHEREAS THE GOOD LOOKING ONES ARE LITERALLY THE MOST BORING.
Like seriously, there are guys on there who send me some nice messages, that put a lot of effort into them but it is just never going to happen because I just am not into them, or don’t fancy them or something. Like if I don’t feel a physical attraction to you it just won’t happen. I am kinda shallow like that but I believe attraction has to be there. But then the ones I do fancy, and who I message because their profiles seem decent and they seem like someone I can get on with… they just don’t bother. Like it is literally like taking blood from  a stone. It is just not there. Like what am I meant to do because I am not one to settle, no way no how. Like one guy, I really did not fancy him, but his message started off so well. Then he asked what Game of Thrones house I belonged to… I love Game of Thrones, but that’s a bit much for a first message. I don’t want to be part of that intensity of a fandom just yet, and if I did I would have joined it on Tumblr a long time ago. 
That’s the brunt of my rant to be honest. I want to finish by just kinda having a little moan about BOYS IN GENERAL. I really think they lack social skills in the way they go on and behave and stuff. Like boys would never think to say “I’ll be busy today so I will talk to you later” or to tell you something straight out instead of ignoring you for a week because they think it’s better, or they take stuff at face value when really it’s just a joke or think you will come out to them at 2am because they happen to be walking by your house.
A few guys have done idiotic things in my world lately and I just wanted to rant about it all. They’re just so stupid, even the really intelligent ones.
I would definitely expect another post about this in the next week. I don’t think I have let it all out yet. I need to start writing things down as they come to me.

Also, I know I have gotten better at posting lately but WORD OF WARNING it is my birthday this weekend and my graduation next week so posts will be thin on the ground. I will do a big post on each even soon after though to fill you all in.
Also I passed 1,000 VIEWS this week and I want to thank you all so much for reading and visiting the blog and supporting me. It’s great to have an outlet but also SO amazing to have people read what I have to say. I hope I can keep posting things you all like, if I am not, feel free to suggest things. 😀

I love you all SO SO MUCH!
x

Justin Timberlake

Hey Guys!
So good oul Justin Timberlake is playing in Dublin on the 10th of July and my friend is bringing me. I haven’t paid her back for the ticket yet so until then it’s still a treat!

I love Justin Timberlake, ever since them n*sync days, so I am particularly excited to sing Cry Me a River and all his other songs along with him. 

The gig is in the Phoenix Park, and obviously open air. The only open air gig I have ever been to was the UCD Ball in 2012. It rained. I got wet.
So for JT I am wearing wellies. I got a pair for going to the Wicklow Mountains for field work for college so it means I can use them again. Although they look a bit wrecked because I have left them out in the garden so I may jazz them up a bit first.
As for the rest of my outfit. I am going naked… nah I kid I kid. I actually got this really cute dress from Vero Moda and I am going to wear that with it. I absolutely love the dress and it looks unreal on. Vero Moda have an amazing sale on, as do Vila, and both can be found in the Inspire section on the first floor of Clerys Department Store. Like I am talking stuff under €20. But it is flying out fast. They have some of the A/W ’13 Vero Moda stuff in too and it looks AMAZING.
xo Dublin Girl

Tuesday!

Hey Guys!
So it’s my second day in a row writing on this. Yay, Somewhat getting into a trend. It only takes 21 days to make or break a habit so I am already doing well with getting into the habit.
In my last post I mentioned three things I was going to write about at a later date and I haven’t forgotten, don’t worry.
Just to recap these things were my hobbies, the end of my relationship and finishing university. The University one may take a while as I am trying to get some friends to talk about their experiences and I am really lazy and keep forgetting, but keep an eye out it will come up bit by bit as I get pieces in!
Another thing I mentioned in yesterdays post was questions. I invited you to email me with any questions on my email for the blog (dublingirlblog@gmail.com), and I was VERY pleasantly suprised to open my inbox to see an email today. In honor of that I am going to write a quick post answering the questions I got in the email. I was quite enthusiastic about answering these questions as I am on dating sites since I became single and I get alot of messages from American guys asking similar questions.
First of all I want to thank Alicia for her email. She found the blog on a post on tumblr, check hers out here. Alicia is 18 and graduating high school and is planning on coming on a working holiday to Dublin and asked me a few questions which I will now attempt to answer as best I can 😀
1. Do you have any tips for solo females traveling in Dublin?
Being honest, this was probably the hardest question for me to answer. I have never travelled anywhere on my own and I don’t really have much experience on the topic. However I do have alot of experience of being in Dublin and traversing the city alone. One thing I will say, Dublin can be a TERRIFYING city. I’ve been to other cities, example London, and I thought it was perfect and lacking the terrors the Dublin streets sometimes have. I have since been informed that London is quite as dangerous as Dublin just I had rose coloured glasses on as I was holidaying there and missed out on it. 
Obviously if you are working in Ireland you will be making friends and all your nights out will be with them so you shouldn’t have to travel alone too often but when you do all I recommend you do is maybe do as I do. I always walk as if I know where I am going. And I very rarely travel alone. But when I do I always have my phone ready just in case I need to make a quick call.
Make sure you never carry too much cash on you and have your phone insured as there has been an increase in pick pockets. And if you are getting a taxi, take their number and let someone know what taxi you are in or else use the hailo app. That app is a godsend. Believe me.
2. How’s the public transportation?

Public transport is actually not too bad. While I hate having to get it, as most people do, it’s actually not too bad a system. We have bus services running around the city, as well as the DART, which goes through the city centre but essentially brings you along the seafront, from one side of the city to the other. It’s a train essentially. We also have the LUAS, which is like a tram. This brings you from the city centre to Saggart/Tallaght and then the other line brings you way out on the southside of the city, I’m not actually sure where but the LUAS is the quickest way to Dundrum Town Centre and for travelling between the various tourist attractions/bus and train terminals in the city.
I’m not sure about the price of public transport, when compared to other cities, but the majority of one way fares seem to cost in and around €2.
One thing I will advise you invest in is a Leap Card. The leap card is a card you top up and can use on all forms of public transport. With it fares are that little bit cheaper and it means you don’t have to search for change in advance 🙂
3. Do Irish folk feel any which way about Canadians? How about black people? (I’m half black and I’m pretty sure it isn’t going to be a problem but you never know)

This was another one I wasn’t too sure about answering. I went to university and obviously there you meet all sorts of people from different countries and the likes  and I have no problems with people of any race or anything and as far as I am aware the majority of Ireland is the same. Dublin is such a diverse city, there are so many people of different races and cultures living here and I really don’t think you would experience any problems. Like I really would be very shocked if you did. We are a friendly sort of people no doubt and you will have no bother settling in and making friends. Give it a week and it will be like you have always lived here!
4. How is the cost of living?

Now this is an interesting one. The cost of living is a strange one! I currently live at home with my parents but I have moved out before so I do have some experience of having to live off my own means. The most expensive part about living in Dublin, I’d say, is the rent. It all depends on where you are living, who with, etc. I’d nearly say you could expect to pay upwards of €500 a month for your rent. After that though it gets easier. Bills are fairly manageable as most companies here let you bundle your tv/phone/broadband together and once you aren’t leaving electrical things constantly on, you should manage okay. One thing my mum does and I’d recommend nearly everyone do this, is pays something off her bills every week (my dad gets paid weekly but do it every month if possible) this way when her bills come in she is always in credit. Also make sure and always ring in any meter readings. Never let the company bill you based on the estimate. For your cell phone, all the companies are competitive and offer great deals, for example, one network gives you unlimited texts to all other networks when you top up €5 every month.
Food is fairly cheap in our super markets as well. Tesco is brilliant, with reasonably priced foods. But Aldi and Lidl are also really crucial for food that is inexpensive. Food will be the least expensive part of living here I would say!
For clothes and stuff then you won’t be stuck either. We have Forever 21 and everything or then we have Pennys where you can get clothes for next to nothing! Like overall the cost of living in Ireland isn’t too bad in my opinion. But that is from me living off very little money, If you are of more expensive tastes I don’t know how you will get on!


I hope I answered all your questions, to some extent, Alicia.
And enjoy your time here. You really will make friends for life.


And guys I’ve loads more posts coming your way, but if there is anything you want to see just drop me an email.


xo Dublin Girl

PS. Can’t for the life of me figure out why some of this is highlighted in white… eep sorry about that.

2013

Hey Guys!!
I know I know I’ve done it again. I slipped out of posting on this. I am terrible I really am. Especially as this is something I actually want to do. Don’t worry though, I am like this with everything regardless of what it is or how much I actually want to do it. No matter what it is I just can’t commit to it. I suck big time I know. 
I am the same with hobbies. I go through hobbies the way people go through pairs of shoes. My shoes last long than the hobbies I attempt to pick up! You name it I have tried it! Though I have finally zoned in on two of these many hobbies and hope to do something with them but more about that in another post, provided I commit to this enough to get to another post. 
So I suppose I best update you on what is going on in my life, especially as I haven’t posted since like, November 2012.
Well let’s start with the biggest thing I have done this year.

I FINISHED UNIVERSITY.

I know, I know. I too am shocked that I managed to stick with that for three years. Though let’s be fair, at times you couldn’t really call me committed to it. But I did it. I am going to be graduating in September with a 2:2, a second class honors degree, lower class, in Geography and Irish Studies. I am officially a Bachelor of Arts. If anyone wants to give me a job in either of those disciplines that would be nice. I definitely will do a post looking back on college over the next few days, so keep an eye out for that. Also if you want me to answer any questions or anything like that regarding to university do indeed email me (details in the side bar). I am hoping to get a few people to write guest posts about college over the next while in order to enlighten you on a number of different aspects of our university journey.

There is only one other significant thing that has happened to me this year.

I DUMPED MY BOYFRIEND.
I wish I could say it was mutual and on good terms but of course it wasn’t. This is also something I will come back to at a later time as I am sure you are all dying to hear about it. But again now is not the time for that.
As a result of the breakup though I have gotten myself in check. I have lost weight, gotten back into taking care of myself, and I am glad that I came to my senses and ended that because that relationship was just not healthy in the slightest!

Well that’s all for now. I have downloaded the blogger app and everything so I am determined to keep up with this. I’ll even start jotting down my ideas for blog posts so that I’m not relying on my brain to remember because let’s be fair. That never works on my part.

And guys I can’t stress this enough. Get in touch with me via email. I mean it. Any questions you have, advice you need, shit if there is something you want to write about let me know and it can be arranged. I want to give you, the readers, what you want 🙂
dublingirlblog@gmail.com

xo Dublin Girl